


The Little Things

by IneffableFangirl_writes



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Mulder loves Scully, Pining, Schmoop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-25
Updated: 2020-04-25
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:53:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23844043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IneffableFangirl_writes/pseuds/IneffableFangirl_writes
Summary: He can't say that he loves her. Schmoop.Taken from the fic backlog on my computer, brought to you by quarantine.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 10





	The Little Things

He couldn’t say it while she was lying there in the bad, wires and tubes hooked up to her like she was some kind of machine. And he certainly couldn’t say it now that she was back, that she was okay again. But his relief, the intensity of what he felt for her could not be held back. It could not be contained lest it explode and so he let it seep out. He lets it bleed out in drops, little by little. 

He holds the umbrella a little more over her than himself, letting water drip on his shoes so hers might stay dry. He opens doors for her, takes that extra step to do so when earlier he might have let her catch it on the way in before. Hypervigilance when she is around, glaring daggers at men who make a pass at her. Stepping in front of her when confrontation begins, even something as small as an argument over motel prices or the date their paperwork was filed. Just little things, keeping her safe. Keeping her with him. Making sure that she doesn’t vanish again, doesn’t ever have to feel that afraid, never shouts for him to help her without him being right by her side.

Disappearing kids in cattle country and he wipes barbecue sauce from her lip with his napkin. He gets the motel room with a connecting door and though she locks it before they go to bed, he looks to make sure he could kick through it if he needed to. If she had so much as a nightmare, he could be there immediately. 

Then it’s the grave robberies, the desecration of young dead girls. He cannot protect her from that--the horror on her face and he knows. He offers to help, asks if she needs to talk and she denies it lightly but he knows. This is something he could protect her from but she refuses the protection. Refuses to need the help. And in between the jittering fear that she will need him and he won’t be there, he is proud of her. He is proud of her and he is disappointed. She is strong enough to confront her fears but not strong enough to admit she’s afraid. He can’t protect her from herself.

She escapes to Washington, making claims about fingerprinting and autopsies and evidence. After another failed attempt at helping, he accepts the explanation because that’s what she needs. She needs him to believe that she can handle it so he nods and says something agreeable about it being a good idea.

And then it happens again. She’s gone and he knows  _ he knows  _ that the fetishist bastard has her. Despite her masking and excuses, he knows how the case has bothered her. He knows how terrified she must be at the moment because he can feel his heart hammering in his chest and he cannot lose her, not again, and so they find her. They make it in time. He watches her lower her eyes, tighten her jaw, say she’s fine.

_ No you’re not _ . 

He says it with his eyes, with two fingers gently under her chin, guiding her up to look at him as she insists she’s fine yet again, lying through her teeth. And the jaw trembles. Her eyes meet his. And it all comes tumbling down until she is sobbing, face buried against his coat as he holds her tight, feels her arms tighten around him like he is the life ring keeping her head above water.

He still cannot say it, so instead he holds her tight, tells her that it will all be okay. He doesn’t know that she can read between the lines but chooses not to. He doesn’t know that any fool could see it on his face. He doesn’t know many things. However, he does know this.

_ I love you. _


End file.
